A 4 minute joy

I saw him a plenty of times at college, our eyes met but we have never talked to each other.
he had that deep look in his eyes...it pierced me and left me frozen.  
we eye locked a number of times. I had a lot of questions and thoughts in my mind and the most
repeated mental question was - "Does he feel the same way?"
Never mind, he did not I presume.
one day after class I stood near the stairs , thinking if I should go down or stay there for a while. 
He was nearby, with his back toward me. I called out his name and he looked back at me.
I asked him, "what is your Zodiac?"
"Aquarius." he replied. I was delighted beyond words.
"same here !" I said and I shook hands with him. 
YESS! my mind exclaimed and I smiled to myself foolishly.
the next week, Monday morning we had history lecture in the morning. I always take the first row.
He randomly sat near me, unconscious of the fact that I secretly like him. I turned my head away,
pretending to take my copy and pen out of my bag but side by side thinking-"Dude, say something!"
 I looked at him and smiled.
"Hi!" 
"good morning...how are you?" he nearly smiled.
"I am awesome. Early today huh? Generally you are not that early." 
he smiled away. I realized I let out the fact that I notice his presence. Damn! never mind! 
he does not even care. My 4 minutes of joy would end soon. The coordinator entered the class and announced.
"class shifted to room 502."
I wanted to kill him at that point. 
Damn! now he, obviously will not randomly sit beside me. 
sigh.... it all ended there ! 

BREAKING FREE

I avoid what I can't take, I simply run,
I come to a point of no return,
Sometimes I don't recognize myself,
and there are some things even my reflection can't tell,
I run away from what I fear,
but deep down, I try to persevere,
people don't understand me, I am lonely,
but somehow this invisible hand holds me,
this breeze, this thunder, doesn't scare me anymore,
but it's myself I fear, that I fall on the floor,
something invisible, that chains me back,
something I don't know, waiting to attack,
I look up to the sky, the blinding light,
I want to break free, but it holds me tight,
I see something flashing at my face,
before I figure out, it takes me from this place...

 

THE THOUGHT THAT FLOWS

A beautiful Tuesday , disregarding the festivities outside ,

I am leaning against the wall and listening to Beethoven and Ludwig symphonies that transport me to a land unknown and a site on my laptop screen...a blissful moment but there awaits me the sweat of hard work and dimensions unknown that are waiting to engulf me in work and reality that i have never seen before. I mentally prepare myself for such ventures because they seem to interest me even though i have never been in one before....  things look so glossy on the outside but all the dirty details are on the inside that i will see soon which will separate me from the rest of the world who are happily posing as the customers of such organisations , relying on the expertise to do their dirty work . all we need is the dirty cash and the profit but sadly we cannot ignore ethics and turn unscrupulous because we have to build up or image in the world....

i am transported by these symphonies that i keep these songs on loop and rewind my thoughts and also think of fresh ideas and how to be a new personality, leaving my gawky self way behind in the point of no return , believing that i will never be the same person again as new adventures lead me in an unknown path. 

 

i love writing and and i feel the way Beethoven runs his fingers on the piano keys, i run my figures on these alphabets producing music via words and creating a perfect symphony by my sentences.....